This week Brian and I had a consultation with a urologist about scheduling a vasectomy. We decided a few months back that our family was now complete, having one of each gender so we scheduled the appointment and booked the surgery given that we already maxed out our insurace with having Bailey. It made financial sense to do it now.
Since Wednesday, something changed in both of us. We were no longer 100% sure that we were done growing our family. Sure it was a hectic home of always on the go, toys flying everywhere, transtrums flaring and non-stop bottle washing but that's our life. This life of babies is only temporary and it sure flies by and they grow up fast and the after baby/diaper life "appears" to be easier or at least you get into a groove. Well, after careful thought and consideration, we have decided to try for another!
I am elated that we actually agreed on this. There was always a part of me that wanted three kids but we decided on two and done. I remember sitting downstairs crying hysterically while I packed Jack's baby clothes into boxes to donate/sell/toss. I cried when Bailey's first word was Dada (yes, I am shallow) thinking that no baby of mine would say Mama first. I balled after having her, knowing it would be the last time a doctor put a baby into my arms for the first time. I weeped at all the firsts and I will most likely weep again at the next firsts. It's a happy/sad thing to know something is complete.
Part of me knew we should have a third because I believe in all signs. I believe that #3 is missing from our lives. Last year around this time my mother-in-law and I saw a psychic who told me my sole purpose in life was to nurture. I would have three children and the dominant gender would be male. Brian has two brothers and I have one, 2/3 are Godfathers of our kids and I always wanted my brother to be a Godfather; now hopefully he can be with his significant other Kim. Growing up I yearned for three kids, boy/girl/boy or girl/boy/girl. All of them would have a place - oldest, only gender, youngest. Time will tell if we are destined for a third and if it is in our cards...if we do get pregnant, my guess is a boy (considering I got rid of all the blue clothes!)
I find that each and every year that passes our lives get better and better. If we are lucky enough to have another, that would really make our 30th year of life the best and our family complete.
The next day...
So we slept on it. And thought about it. We were both extremely excited to even have the option on the table. Brian never gave the idea a thought, and had always envisioned having two kids and since we got lucky with a boy and girl he didnt want more. Now that he was open to it we were both very excited.
So the next day after little sleep, we sat down and had an in depth conversation. Our gut is telling us both not to have a third. Time will tell if we change our minds again.