Without them, life wouldn't work.

Everyone knows my emotions are on high alert with this pregnancy, I tend to cry at commercials or just for no reason. The majority of the tears are very happy tears, some are attached to anxiety which is normal when expecting another little one. I always like to look back at my sob sessions and figure out what triggored it and no longer feel bad for the outbursts but to embrace it...here i go!

Yesterday I was in a reflecting mood. My husband gave me an hour to myself and took Jack to Gander Mountain while I could get some sewing done and push orders out the door (success!).  I dont know what came over me but the silence that filled the house made me cry. It make me realize just how important these two people are in my life and how without them, my life just wouldn't work. I've been looking at how my life has changed over the past two years (Jack will be 2 on Sunday!) and cannot imagine things any different. My husband and I are closer than ever and continue to celebrate "getting through" the first years of parenthood as a happy couple. We look back at all the little things and laugh at them and anticipate many more memories to be made when our daughter Bailey is born in May.

My logic behind all this reflection has to be because I am a big movie buff and just read about all the films being nominated for awards this year. I always like to take the time to watch each individual movie but the one I am dreading is Rabbit Hole with Nicole Kidman. It's about a couple that struggles with the coping of losing their son, something I never want to imagine living with. I know I will watch the movie but will probably wait until my crying spells are few and far between.

I always tell people that are nervous and have anxiety when having a child that with the bad (and there is a lot of bad days and experiences) come twice the good. The good will always outweigh the bad and no matter how you handle a situation, you will learn something from it. Parenthood is trial and error and every day is different. Once you begin finding toys in odd places, you tend to forget about the trantrums and sleepless nights that just occurred...and end your day with a smile (after throwing Barney off your bed).

Mommy Group Fun

Today was an especially great morning, nothing really different from the rest. We woke up with our usual routine and managed to meet up with the moms & kids for a stroll around the mall before Gymboree class. What made this morning so great was that we were all together, after Danielle having another baby and the boys interacted so well together during class. It made me realize that even after I have another little one to care for, that we can somehow keep some consistency going on and keep meeting together for playdates.

The Gymboree teacher was new today and by far the best we have seen. The kids followed her everywhere, listened well and she kept them very entertained. It was the first I saw Jack really involved in the structure of the class and "getting it". I took some pictures because as we approach their 2nd birthdays, we have realized how fast this time is passing us by. We will be approaching the one year mark that we all met one another through Gymboree class and watched our boys grow...

Kara and Danielle are great friends, I feel like I have known them for longer. They are a great support system to me and Brian gets along well with their husbands. Our kids are days/months apart and seem to have such a great time together. I am really excited to spend more time together with our growing families and capture more memories like these!

A final goodbye to a best friend

2010 brought a lot of changes to me personally. I used my new found "mother maturity" to rid some negative energy in my life and find positive influences. I can honestly say that this was a big success and I am very happy with the outcome. One of the changes that was out of my control was departing with our beloved cats, Ella and Molly.

Ever since August 2009, Jackson would begin developing a rash whenever he would come in contact with our feline friends. He doesnt appear to do that at other houses, so we assumed it was cat dander that gave him a reaction. My husband and I discussed/fought/cried (me) over the discussions for over nine months when finally we came to the conclusion that we could no longer be cat owners. We were restricting our cats to certain rooms in the house and they became defiant, were spraying and just looked depressed. It was a heartbreaking decision that left a void in my life until just recently.

Ella was my baby. She and I were together before Brian even came along and there wasnt a thing she did wrong in my eyes. I watched her have four kittens in college and bonded with her more than I ever thought I could with a cat. Molly was adopted by Brian and I (my birthday present of 2005) and she was our little cuddler. She was the complete opposite of Ella, liked everyone but was very scared and weary of others. They both fit into our evolving family and we never thought we would part.

Saying goodbye to Ella and Molly were two difficult days.  We put ads out on craigslist and realized that we needed to return Molly to the shelter that we adopted her from so she could get the medical attention she needed (she was having stomach issues and they fixed her up!). She would then be put up for adoption after she healed. We received several emails and phone calls about Ella - alot were sketchy and I just didnt trust anyone taking her. You never know how many crazy animal abusers were out there and I would never forgive myself if someting happened to her.  Then along came Christine. She had a two year old boy and lives in Cedarburg and bonded with Ella instantly when she stopped by. There was something about her voice on the phone when she called, it gave me an intuition to give her a chance. Little did I know that very day I would be saying goodbye to my best fur friend and never seeing her again. I cried. Brian cried. Jack gave her a kiss and days later Abbie (our dog) somehow developed two "tear drop" white spots next to her eye. We call it her cat tats. It was hard on the entire family...and still has been on me for nearly one year later.

I always wondered if they were in good hands. Did they miss me and did I make the right decision? After visiting a tarot card reader on a whim with my mother in law to find out our 2011 destiny, I asked about my cats. She told me that they were happy, no longer depressed and are not looking back!! They dont miss me. LOL. I never received the validation until last week when I emailed Christine asking about Ella.  Ella had adjusted to her new family perfectly and is getting all the attention she needs. It was the news that brought my sorrow to an end.

 Now, I am getting another little girl, my Bailey. When my kids are older, I cannot wait to tell them about the stories about their fur sisters Ella Lynn and Molly Wayne (Brian named her) and how they started as our babies and helped nurture this family to what it is today.

Mr Personality

Some days are just more difficult than others. I use this blog as my sounding board and to also note all the small things that occur in our daily life so some day we can look back and reflect...or use as a "oh yeah, that happened" moment when reading to our kids.

This weekend Jack was too excited to sleep. He woke up on Saturday and Sunday at 4:30AM and with a toddler in his own bed, it's extremely difficult to use the "cry it out" plan and let him self soothe. There's no way around it having a near two year old kicking his door and screaming bloody murder; he was just simply awake and ready to start the day. Adding humor to this dreadful morning, our comedian of a child would realize that pounding on the door wasnt opening it, so he would gently knock which made Brian and I laugh as we layed in bed listening...but the knocking got louder. He would also hand me his pacifier and blankets and say "here" as if he knows he is done sleeping and will not back down. Irritation set in hour after hour and after three hours of attempting to put him back in his room / giving him breakfast / playing with him, we gave in and went on with our daily routine of Jack.



The I'm watching Toy Story 3 with my dad until I poop pic.



Let me back up by saying that this week was quite difficult as well. Ever since we returned from Disney in December, Jack's stomach has been off. He lasts 5-6 days without "going" and it is painful to watch and/or listen to him. He screams "ow" whenever he tries to go and runs around the house on his tip toes. After one week of nothing, I decided to purchase Pediatric Fleet Glycerin Suppositories to help move things along and it worked great on the first day; road block clear...or so I thought.

We went on a suppository bender and each day after hearing the painful cries, I would give him one but they wouldnt take. After much careful consideration, I gave him another today and we sat down to watch Toy Story 3 to make sure he was still and let it do its job right. SUCCESS!! As a parent, you learn that when having a baby all you want is for it to poop - right consistency, color, texture, etc. - and you will know that things are working as they are suppose to. Bowl movements are a huge part of your conversations and text messages when raising kids and today was a great day. Jack cleared things up, took a nap (finally at 1:30PM after being very overtired) and turned into our happy little boy that we once knew.

We just put Jack down to sleep and I look back at this day and learned a lot about myself, my husband and the strength of our relationship. We balance each other out and when one gets overwhelmed, the other is there to carry on while the other gets a break...we have a great marriage and partnership and I am happy to be co-parenting a very energetic child who continues to keep us on our toes with my amazing husband Brian.

Bailey Girl's Nursery!

This week Brian was off of work for holiday shutdown and we took it upon ourselves to complete a project. At first we were going to wait until completing the downstairs spare bedroom to start Bailey's nursery but we need to wait for my dad's carpentry expertise before doing anything.

Brian suprised me by completing painting the walls/trim and baseboards and also putting up white paneling on the walls (and more painting) within less than 3 days. It was a big task and he did a great job!  I of course had a bunch of items in my "girl box" to use for a baby girl in case I ever had one. I started gathering things for the nursery when we found out it was a girl and it all came together...to be very girly!  The walls are robin's egg blue with pastel pinks/yellow/green/blue/white and I put up tulip decals on the wall to add a theme to the room. We had several items from Jack's nursery (blue) so I knew I wanted to incorporate that color into the room and it turned out better than I expected. The only thing left to do is get her B A I L E Y wall letters for above the crib and wait for her arrival in May!